If you find yourself surfing the internet for the magical blog that will provide the inspired reading you are seeking in your life, and instead only finding sweet and lovely people who are:
1) significantly younger than you are
2) living a very different life than you are
3) talking about things which don't particularly speak to your heart or mind
4) are obsessed with frozen yogurt, chia seeds, and lulumon;
then, perhaps it's high time to create the words you wish you were finding out there working the google on the internet machine.
So, I'm 40. I don't have kids. I don't like frozen yogurt. I don't make chia seed pudding with stevia and pumpkin.
What I am is 40. Pretty good self esteem but pretty low self confidence. Pretty happy with a lot of my life, pretty overwhelmed by a lot of the details in my life. Pretty comfortable with who I am, pretty sad about the self-loathing that still steers the ship some days.
I'm not a sparky personality. I'm a steady trudger you may not have noticed. I don't own a garmin, but I aspire to break 10 minute miles. I like really healthy food, and I struggle every single day not to self medicate with crappy stuff (mostly to make myself feel bad).
I'm a daughter, a sister, a wife, a friend, an animal person, a horse person. A reader, a runner, a hiker, a new bike owner. So easily hurt, but also so strong and able to hang in there.
I wish I had the recipe for myself - to get out of my own way. To take risks when appropriate. To release the things that are gone for good.
I do know that a lot of the ingredients I'm throwing into the mixing bowl of myself are not so good lately. Too much stress, sugar, worry; too little sleep, exercise, play.
Time to sweep the grit off the pathway and step ahead with some confidence.
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