When it's time to change... then it's time to change. Right? My voice won't crack like Peter's did but maybe I can make some changes that are equally significant in terms of life flow.
Two days with running this week feels terrific. Aiming for a third on Friday to feel awesome.
Better sense of humor about the universe this week feels restful. Trying to get ahead of the curve and laugh before the thing goes wrong.
And why can't I buy a pair of socks instead of candy? If I can let myself buy candy then how can I say I cannot affort socks?
In the end, it really does not require 2 siblings and 3 step siblings and a recording booth to make adjustments.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
when life throws you sub zero temperatures and snow, make lemondade
I'd like to think that maybe, perhaps, I have finally figured something out. As in, through the process of digging in to myself, my mind, my coping mechanisms, my fears and worries, my flip-flops of emotion and my big questions about my life, perhaps I've made some simple connections and understandings this week that can serve to carry me forward.
The biggest thing is to just do it. Not like the shoe company - but to simply step into it all and go. Live. Be present. Make the choice that is loving, respectful, and caring of myself.
Snack sized Hershey bars at lunchtime today - not loving, respectful, or particularly fraught with self-care. But I know that fully in the bellyache and dull headache and feeling of, "see? you know that wasn't a kind way to be."
The honey-mustard, apple, arugula, and brie quesadillas reheated for lunch? Those fit the bill on all counts. Delicious. Fun. Good for me. Warm. Yummy. Satisfying. Veggies, fruit, fiber (brown rice tortillas), protein. Okay, protein is always better when it is wrapped in the guise of soft French cheese, but still, protein is important.
Small little steps of love and respect. Hard, hard to shake old patterns, hard to step back from being cruel to myself. Mistreatment. Abuse (chocolate can be abusive).
But here's the thing that helped me click it all together this week and want to make a shifteroonie. Twentieth class reunion this summer or fall, it is happening. And I know how I want to feel when I go to that event. Used to worry how I'd look, that's a 20-something's worry. Now, I just know how I want to feel when I am there. I want to feel healthy and vibrant and alive. Present in myself, available to the experience. Glowing and sparkly, gosh darn it. Okay, maybe "look" plays in, because sure, I'd love to look fantastic. Not because I've suddenly grown into someone I am not, not in a superficial way, but in a "you look GREAT" way that is rooted in peace and health in body and mind. Yes to that.
One of my persons of inspiration was written about this week and encouraged to try a free online yoga class. I am thinking that maybe I could check that site out, myself, and try to find one or two days a week when my morning is transitioned from rest to action through gentle movement and breathing and focus. Sounds darn good.
So, it's Friday. Feeling at a far different place than Monday. That's good. I'll take that. Bring on the weekend. Time to come alive.
The biggest thing is to just do it. Not like the shoe company - but to simply step into it all and go. Live. Be present. Make the choice that is loving, respectful, and caring of myself.
Snack sized Hershey bars at lunchtime today - not loving, respectful, or particularly fraught with self-care. But I know that fully in the bellyache and dull headache and feeling of, "see? you know that wasn't a kind way to be."
The honey-mustard, apple, arugula, and brie quesadillas reheated for lunch? Those fit the bill on all counts. Delicious. Fun. Good for me. Warm. Yummy. Satisfying. Veggies, fruit, fiber (brown rice tortillas), protein. Okay, protein is always better when it is wrapped in the guise of soft French cheese, but still, protein is important.
Small little steps of love and respect. Hard, hard to shake old patterns, hard to step back from being cruel to myself. Mistreatment. Abuse (chocolate can be abusive).
But here's the thing that helped me click it all together this week and want to make a shifteroonie. Twentieth class reunion this summer or fall, it is happening. And I know how I want to feel when I go to that event. Used to worry how I'd look, that's a 20-something's worry. Now, I just know how I want to feel when I am there. I want to feel healthy and vibrant and alive. Present in myself, available to the experience. Glowing and sparkly, gosh darn it. Okay, maybe "look" plays in, because sure, I'd love to look fantastic. Not because I've suddenly grown into someone I am not, not in a superficial way, but in a "you look GREAT" way that is rooted in peace and health in body and mind. Yes to that.
One of my persons of inspiration was written about this week and encouraged to try a free online yoga class. I am thinking that maybe I could check that site out, myself, and try to find one or two days a week when my morning is transitioned from rest to action through gentle movement and breathing and focus. Sounds darn good.
So, it's Friday. Feeling at a far different place than Monday. That's good. I'll take that. Bring on the weekend. Time to come alive.
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