Supposed to stop by a halloween party tonight. Part of me wants to go, part of me loathes the idea. Couch, wine, movie sounds much more appealing. But it's also a lonely life, sometimes, when there's not really a meet-up social circle in your universe. Good thing he and I are good friends and enjoy pal-ing around, but it would be nice to cultivate friendships.
Needing to tackle the closet and bureau. Need to, truly. Need to shed, shake off, donate, and release. Let go of the excesses that don't work and dare to focus energy and resources on smaller quantities of workables only.
Wishing that I could find a place of peace in my head, where an ill-fitting sportsbra does not result in a sea of self-loathing. A garment that does not fit properly is not really an affirmation on one's worthlessness - it's really just an ill-fitting garment. Really.
Fear of being wrong - making the wrong moove, putting myself in a corner, stuck with a decision that wasn't so good. It's parties, and it's clothes, and it's overall vision of self. It's hard.
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