It is a hazy, gray Tuesday and I am still sick. I had great intentions of going for a run today at lunch. I even made a mental compromise with myself, to backtrack to one of the intervals from my trusty couch to 5k program and do three, 5 minute intervals with walk breaks. Unfortunately, there is also hazy grayness in my lungs still and I feel weak and ill. After much surfing to help determine the appropriate course of action, I will be staying indoors at lunchtime. Maybe tomorrow will be a return to running.
On the plus side - I miss it. That's a good feeling, to know that it's taken hold in some parts of my brain and body and rooted in and found a home. I want to get back out there. I want to push myself, feel strength in my body, feel the change in myself as I continue to go from this - to that - .
Being away from it has helped force my mind's eye a bit to see that this is a vital element of self-transformation. To challenge myself, that this is what I do, this is who I am, this is what I can become. To go back to my favorite theme, if I can change this than what else can I change about my life?
Still not ready to change some things. I "want" to change some things, but I can recognize that I am not fully ready to make that change in/for myself. I think it's creeping up on me. I hope it is, at least.
In the meantime - try to get enough sleep and eat well and relax and let my body bounce back to health. Because I want to run again, and continue to see where it takes me.
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