My friend would have celebrated a birthday today. A painfully short time from now, we'll instead mark the 13th annivarsary of her death.
She was big and beautiful and generous and smart. She had a style and presence.
It was a lucky thing, to overlap her life with mine for an all too short time.
People know us in different ways, as slightly different people or versions of ourselves, I think. No matter how constant our authentic selves may be, each relationship is different from the next and me to this person is not the same as me to the next person, right?
That said, I knew her how I knew her, and she, me. I wonder sometimes how she saw me - as if I'll find a spark of insight in that.
I think the world is a better place because she was in it, but I wish she were still here. Some people remind us to live better, but I wish that the lesson of her life was ongoing in a different way.
I placed a shell I'd picked up on the beach in maine, wrapped in hand-spun yarn from my future mother-in-law, gently to rest with her alongside flowers, trinkets, scotty's ring. She was so very loved for being 100% herself. I hope she felt that while she was with us - my heart tells me that she did.
Gratitude for the people in our lives is never a bad thing.
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